Like vs Possibility

People ask me why I go to India so much. "You must really like it....", they say. I don't think it's about liking it. It's too difficult a place to like, meaning it's not a lukewarm kinda thing, which is what like seems to me. I have left at least twice, perhaps 3 times saying I would never return. No one believed me, except me. But I can't be one of those Indiaphiles saying how much I love India.
Because on a personality level I don't. It's hard to be tested. It's difficult to be patient and out of ones 'comfort zone'. To be astonished by poverty and magic and utter chaos, happening all at the same time. It's hard walking around feeling sorry for people and also be annoyed that they look at you as walking ATM machines. Or witness or be the recipient of a wonderful act of kindness or generosity while going crazy with the sound of honking horns or stench of garbage or watching a sick dog limping down the street. Yeah, you've heard varieties of this kind of description before. Seen photos of such things. I have nothing new to add. Except it's not about 'like' or even love. It's more about acceptance and being able to be open hearted and not shut down or overwhelmed while having these experiences that are difficult, uncomfortable if not just painful or confusing or all at the same time.

But in my search for God knows what (and that's about the only entity that might know): love of travel, pottery, design, beauty and some truth in all that...
I keep returning to India. This time by way of Japan, which I naively thought would be my 'replacement', as in 'Japan is the new India as my 'go to' place.
But I met Deb and Ray there (Japan) and we really got along and they run a pottery concern, 'Golden Bridge Pottery'. They are expats who have lived in Pondicherry since 1971. We all enjoyed our time together so much, they generously invited me to come visit. So I am. Just to make it clear: it's not because I like India.

Something I noticed: While visiting in Japan I noticed that Japanese do not like to say 'no'. They say, 'it is not possible'. They consider this more polite and more pleasing and cultural aesthetic. In India, I often hear, 'anything is possible (madame)'. Because there, in India it is. Mostly it shows up in the guise of utter chaos. So with trepidation and a bit of a chip on my shoulder or a bit of fear of getting sick from something I ate, AGAIN. *sigh*  Off I go! Will keep you abreast of the chaos I roll into as the blog ambles forward. Namaste.